What do you do? It’s not a question solely for at-home dads. Anyone who does anything will get asked that when introduced to someone new. But how do you explain what stay-at-home a dad does?
It’s not as easy as saying, “I take care of my kids all day,” although it should reveal everything someone needs to know. That answer is asking for a stranger to start picking away at your life, and most people aren’t comfortable with that. Not to mention, the role is much more complex.
Some dads have no problem going deep into how they spend their days. Some dads are still debating what exactly it is that they do. Some dads don’t want to answer the question at all.
Whatever your approach is fine. Really, are we out to make someone else comfortable?
You do a lot of ThingsBeing a full-time caregiver is a full-time job, whether a father, mother, grandparent or sibling is doing the work. Mothers have had to justify it for centuries. But a full-time dad seems to bring out all sorts of opinions.
It makes answering the question tough.
You spend your day taking care of the kids. You help them get dressed; you make them breakfast; you go to pretend grocery stores in the backyard and then you go to the real grocery store. All before 10 a.m.
You kiss scrapped knees and break up fights. You try to manage the house. There really isn’t much of a break during the day, and the duties continue into the night and on weekends.
And most of all, you are probably doing it because you want to be. Even those who aren’t comfortable with the definition.
This is what throws off most people. .
How about he wants the kids to be with a parent all day instead of someone they barely knew at a daycare center? Maybe it is in the best interest of the family financially, which no one seems to consider? There are as many unique reasons as there are full-time fathers.
Finding the Response for YouYou only have to justify what you do to yourself, your kids and your spouse. Being comfortable in the role is what is important, and it’s not always easy, so dealing with others’ perceptions isn’t always welcome.
Respond in a way that is comfortable and define your role in your own way. The simple “I watch the kids” should be enough, and be firm with that if your new acquaintance presses on. Skirt the question if you want to. Tell them what you have done in the past careerwise, but for now you are taking care of your children while waiting your next step. If it fits your comfort level or the situation, go into all-out detail on why this is the job for you.
A full-time dad knows what he does and he takes pride in it. As long as that is clear, answering the question, or figuring out the answer, should be a little easier.